Falling in Love with Koha - The Honeymoon Phase

If I had doubts in the very beginning, I quickly fell in love with Koha. I feel like I can point to the exact moment my heart opened up. It was game over. I knew my heart was going to break all over again, but grief is also part of love.

There is a video Kavir took of Koha and me playing in the yard together. It encapsulates to me what it is like to have fun with a dog. It is connected play. We are in tune with each other, not distracted by stimuli external to each other and the immediate environment. We feel safe enough to try to understand each other's favorite game, and to play little pieces of it interspersed with little pieces of our own favorite games.

In the video, Koha switches readily from toy to toy, always wanting to play with the one that I am presenting for him, never running off to frolick and play on his own - as cute as this is, it doesn't make for the most satisfying play (for me anyway). He bounces in a way that I've come to think of as caracteristic. He looks like a big black fox, pouncing and leaping. I am smiling and we are laughing. It's magical to me. Everything about this dog is magical. 

I watched it back over and over, falling more deeply into love each time. It reminds me of the early videos of Rio - me teaching him to pull the door closed in our apartment back in Austin while Kavir plays guitar softy in the background, Rio bounding happily after frisbees, Rio picking up his toys and one by one dropping them into the toy basket as I coach and encourage him.

I watched that video of Koha playing with me knowing it was an important moment, knowing that one day I would watch it again without Koha and my heart would ache all over again. It would ache for Koha, for Rio, for Roscoe, for all of the losses stacked up over the course of a lifetime rich with love. It was that kind of moment, when I fell in love with Koha.

Koha hasn't really played quite like that with me again since that early video. There have been glimpses of that kind of connection here and there, and they are starting to become more frequent. That video was taken just a little over a week after he came to us, after he got his flea treatment. He probably felt like a new dog, rejoicing that all his problems have been solved! Then as the days went on, we both realized that this is a lot of work, like any new relationship. We don't really understand each other yet. There are so many things that are new to Koha living as a dog with a home. He is an anxious street dog, accustomed to doing whatever he wants whenever he wants, and fending for himself. All these new restrictions on his behavior are necessary to set him up for a future where together we both thrive, but they are hard on him at times too. I've taken it upon myself to meet as many of his doggie needs as I can identify and do my best to help make this transition as smooth as possible. When I can't figure out how to do that, I feel guilt and stress and Koha suffers as well. We are doing our best though even if it doesn't always look perfect. Koha needs lots of time to play the games he loves. He is so damn cute, and that helps. 

Just look at this guy. He is funny, energetic, and intense: 

It can be tough, but Kavir and I are working together as a team to help this little guy acclimate to his new life. I'm so grateful for Kavir's help in Roscoe and Koha's care. He has become a very good dog trainer at this point and has some brilliant insights and input. The answer to the all important question about Koha's anxiety and general behavior, "Is it getting better or is it getting worse?" appears to still be, "it's getting better." So onward with the training plan we go.

Maybe I needed that early glimpse into the kind of dog Koha was capable of becoming to get me through some of the early challenges. We definitely had some early challenges:

• Going to the vet to get vaccines, bloodwork, and a checkup

• Moving from the garage to the house

• The "full-bucket" bite

The love I'm beginning to feel for Koha does not diminish the love I'll always have for Rio - that love is big enough to encompass both dogs and Roscoe too, each as unique a creature as the next. Who will this dog become? Where will we go together? It's the thrill of new love. 

I guess Rio was right, maybe I was ready for a dog to show up on our doorstep. 

Thanks for sending him, buddy. I'll do my best. <3